Introspective Souls & The Living God

Introspection

Introspection is defined as the process of carefully examining one's own feelings, thoughts, and ideas. In other words, it is the intentional process of interior self-examination.  This can be a positive help in some instances, enabling us to root out, uncover and understand certain personal tendencies we may have. 

But, many times, if not properly managed, introspection can lead to an introspective personality, where we tend to examine our own feelings, thoughts, or ideas in the depths of our own subconscious being, instead of communicating with other people. In other words, we become inward focused, and this inward focus, re-enforced by thoughts which we deem to be our own, tends to increasingly guide our perception of who we are, or how we may appear to others. This focus can lead to a certain captivity and ultimately distort a proper understanding of the self, which is only found through communication with others, firstly and foremost, through communication with the Living God.

The end result of such an inward introspection is very often the unveiling of a persona rooted in 'self love' or even 'self hatred', - which can only lead to cycles of depression and ultimate despair.

A soul which is introspective in this manner will often look down on others or focus on the failures of others. Such a soul will also necessarily develop an independent and self-sufficient spirit to protect the persona which he or she projects, and may become generally unapproachable and aloof, and, very often, defensive when criticized by others. Such a soul must live off of its own glory, which will ultimately fade and wilt under the pressures of life's adversities, and the consuming knowledge that one day this projected self will be consumed by the ravages of sickness and death.

Yet, to varying degrees, all souls are plagued by this introspective reality, and the only escape from its complicated and sorted web is to experience God's personal love, which offers healing and imparts wisdom, purpose and hope. There, from this center, we can allow God's thoughts to become our own and begin to walk with the Living God as our great friend and benefactor.

Yet, how is it possible to achieve this when most of the modernist Christian church, whether conservative or liberal, Catholic or Protestant, is itself tragically introspective, and disconnected from this great and saving truth? The truth that God, through his son Jesus, knew that man could not survive the gauntlet of this life by means of a mere intellectual assent to His offered salvation. Knowing that such an assent would not survive the assault of the death camps of Nazi Germany, nor the assault of the spirit of lust and consumptive power which pervades our own times. Jesus offered much more -His very real Presence and healing.

Who then can God send to such a godless self-centered world if not those of His followers who have experienced a baptism into the fire of His love -reaped from an earnest repentance and heartfelt submission to the will of the Father? 

Yet, for such followers a time of difficult testing is at hand. Will we be willing to pay the price necessary to make His Presence and healing known to the deeply introspective and lost souls of our day, or continue to plan for a feast on Superbowl Sunday oblivious of the destiny to which Jesus calls us?

For, to enter into such a call, much more will be required than a meal offering - it will take a Living Sacrifice.

This Too Shall Pass - My Brother Greg

From My Journal

My brother Greg was a beautiful man -tall, broad, strong and having a tremendous sense of humor. But, following his wartime experience in Viet Nam (1967), and his return to civilian life, his life's journey was to be long and arduous, as he would be caught up in a world of drugs and alcohol and other kinds of worldly abuse.  It would require a great deal of prayer and intercession, (and ultimately, in my faith experience, the miraculous work of the Mother of God) to pull him at his death from the mire of this world into the saving realm of heaven. [That is a separate remarkable story in itself not reported here.]

Many years following his return from Viet Nam (somewhere in the late 80's), I was able to situate Greg in Section 8 housing, and he moved from place to place until eventually finally settling in Beverly, MA in a large rented room and kitchen area.  He stayed there for many years until his death in 2004.  However, he continually ended up in trouble (including a six month incarceration in NH,), and we never knew what was going to happen next. Then, on one Thanksgiving Day we all attended dinner at the house of one of my brothers-in-law and Greg came along. After the meal, Greg and I decided to go for a walk when he presented me with a hedgehog. He reported that he had for the third time been caught dealing drugs and was scheduled for a criminal trial which could land him in prison for a considerable period. It was then, while walking in the cold, and suffering considerable consternation over what I had just heard, that I heard my angel say audibly: "This too shall pass."  Hearing this mystified me, and, while this "word of knowledge" was consoling, I really wondered what it could mean. (You might ask how I knew it was my angel, but this was a "knowing" on my part.)

Well, it took about a year to play out, and I remember well being involved with his defense attorney trying to resolve the impossible impasse erected before us.  But, my angel was correct, as the district attorney permitted my brother to act as a witness for the prosecution by identifying the dealer from whom he had purchased the drugs, and agreed to a reduction in charges in settlement.  To my amazement, Greg was only sentenced to a period of probation, and having ducked a sure bullet, never again dealt in drugs, and never again presented us troubling issues outside of his own declining health.  

God, to his glory and faithful to his word, proved himself up to the task -which ushered in my own profound prayer of thanksgiving. Yes, on Thanksgiving Day God promised a day of thanksgiving. May he be praised!

There are many lessons to be learned from this event. God knows future events and is concerned with them -even those we might consider mundane. God will work on our behalf, if we pray and seek his help with a sincere and contrite heart. And, God can always bring good out of evil. Even if in this case Greg had been sentenced to jail for a term, I have faith that good would have flowed from it.  Another very significant lesson to be learned from this experience is the fact that general suffering is greatly minimized for a believer who places his or her life -and its purpose and destiny -into the hands of God.  Outside of that place of considerable safety and protection, suffering can be greatly expanded, largely due to the exploitative work of Satan and his minions. By this I mean the avoidance of anxiety, fear, confusion and general spiritual darkness, which very often leads to both mental and physical diseases of all kinds.

I know -a tome can be written regarding this spiritual truth, but that is for another day.

When the Time Comes - You Will Be Ready

(Circa 1998)

What does Heaven know about our destiny? What does Heaven know about the time and the hour of our death?  The answer is: ALL. 

Somewhere in my mid fifties I was in my bedroom upstairs in Rowley, MA and began to think about how quickly time had gone by. Somehow, I thought that I might be called home earlier in life (in the military as a Navy pilot, we all recognized this possibility), but now I wondered how time would play out and began to think about my inevitable death.  At the thought of death, I began to be a bit disconsolate as I have always considered death (common to man) to be an unnatural event not intended for us. That, somehow, the fate of death had been imposed on mankind through some sort of unnatural evolution. I always thought this -even as a young person. Of course, that is true -isn't it?  Sin and Satan, or Satan and then sin brought death to man. It is unnatural and it was not the originate destiny of man.

So, there I was standing and dressing -thinking these thoughts, when I audibly heard: "When the time comes, you will be ready."  I was amazed, and then greatly consoled at this revelation. To this day this spoken word brings me a great sense of peace and assurance in the face of a now crumbling and aging body.  I rejoice in knowing that Heaven knows the hour of my death, and that when it arrives, I will be ready to meet and embrace it.  Alleluia! Praise be to the work of the Savior, who at a great price opened the door for all of us to the possibilty of Peace at the hour of our earthly passing. 

Now, at the age of seventy, that hour is much closer for me than at the time I received this consoling word of knowledge. God is in control, and will call me home when the hour does arrive. In some ways, I actively prepare for that event through my prayer life and asking for the gift of greater intimacy with God our Father. 

 Yes, He is Love, and He is passionate for us. And, as Scripture teaches, He seeks those who desire to worship Him in Spirit and Truth . 

Yet, it is impossible to gain an understanding regarding this great spiritual truth without first submitting to His Will for your life. Then, understanding comes as infused knowledge lovingly, tenderly and mysteriously given. 

In this world, where many of us have experienced poor, or even violent parental events, it takes time to come into this place.  For many of us, great interior healing is needed to enter into intimacy with God and to embrace His tender Love. But, begin by asking for it, by  praying from your heart, and being faithful to His Commands. And, above all of this, learn to persevere in this endeavor.  Urgently avoid the occult in all of its forms, embrace purity, and do not rely upon your own strength.  In due course He will answer your cry. He ALWAYS does!

MORE TO FOLLOW

At Prayer

(March 23, 2012)

I am praying before the tabernacle early in the morning at St. Mary's church in Rowley, Ma. There is no Mass, but I have keys to access the church as I offer Alpha and other programs from this site. As Mass is only offered on Monday and Tuesday mornings, I had begun to make it a practice to go there early (usually 7:00 am), and to pray for at least one hour's time worshipping and praising the Lord, and quietly listening for his voice.

On this particular Friday morning, amazingly, during prayer I am able to remember with preciseness the names of many of my grammar and high school friends, associates with whom I flew in the Navy so many years ago, ex-clients and associates from my various workplaces. And, as I begin to go down this list of remembrance, I mention each name in the silence of my heart and I say: "Yes, Lord, thank you for him (or her), and bless him". This list of remembrance was quite long and extensive, and while I was praying this way I did not think that what I was doing was anything unusual.  Some of the men brought to mind had not lived the holiest of lives, but I was moved, with great love, to thank the Lord for their existence, and to bless them. This went on for perhaps twenty minutes or so.

At the conclusion of this time, I finished my prayers, knelt before the Lord humbly asking his blessing, and left the church.

It was only the following day that I noticed something quite substantial had altered within me.  Suzanne and I went to a luncheon with some friends during which I was seated across from man with a very difficult personality. He was someone I consciously sought to avoid.  To my amazement, I was filled with great love for him, had wonderful joy in my heart, and had no difficulty listening to his meandering and quite vociferous stories. Love caused me to view him as Jesus viewed him, and I knew that the Lord was blessing and preserving him even as I spoke to him (He is quite ill.). I also knew that the Lord desired that I love him with a father's love, so that he would be open to the love of the Father either now, or at the point of his death, and come to know Jesus.

I learned so much that day, and it has changed my heart toward others. I have come to more fully understand that God loves and blesses, and does not curse his creation. It is men and Satan and his minions that do that. I learned too, that such love is costly, but that it is the only way to reach into the heart of a wounded, fearful and broken man. In the beginning, God used his son to show us the way of love in order that we might come to know  salvation, and how costly such love is. Now, he relies on us to reveal that love, and that love opens to me (us) the path of peace and reconciliation. 

The Demon of Thought (Circa 1984)

At the age of thirty nine I married my beautiful and wonderful friend Suzanne following my conversion to Christ at the age of thirty-six through the ministry of Billy Graham. She has been, and to this day, is a gift of God to me, and her strength has given me direction these many years since. Given my life style before marriage, I had a lot of cleaning up to do, and I began a personal journey of discovery seeking to know the Lord and his ways better by reading Scripture and personal study. It was during one of these times of personal study that an event occurred which was remarkable, and which helped me understand to a significant degree the realm of the demonic. This experience would prove fruitful to me in the years to follow.

It begins like this. I am downstairs with my wife sitting in a couch before our fireplace in Marblehead, MA, reading a small booklet entitled "Grains of Wheat." This booklet encouraged one to walk in the ways of the Lord and to practice generosity and various spiritual disciplines. At my heart level I was responding very affirmatively to this good teaching -when I heard myself think: "I really don't want to do this."  Somehow, this surprised me, and though an amazing grace, I perceived that this thought -while likened to my own, had an alternate source. Responding to this discernment, I quickly turned and looked over my left shoulder where I clearly saw a spirit hovering and looking directly at me. You will ask: "Good grief, were you terrified?" To which I respond: "No, not at all." In fact, I was very much at peace. Secondly, you certainly would now like to ask: "What did the spirit look like?"  Well, this is where the amazing part of this experience may prove difficult for you.  The spirit was smallish (the size of an large watermelon), purple in color (it was a light form -thus ethereal in appearance), having little specific form (almost Casper the Ghost in appearance), with eyes which you could look through into the surrounding room.  It took this spirit at least three of four seconds before it realized that I could actually see it, and then, as a narrow beam of purple streaking supersonic light it passed out of my sight right though the wall of my house as if the wall did not exist.

You should now be asking: "What was that all about?"  Well, Jesus speaks about spirits that roam the face of the earth seeking a place to rest, and this spirit was such a being (Matt. 12:43 and Luke 11.24). And, if I had accepted the voice of that spirit as my own, it would have found an resting place from which it could begin the process of shaping the way I thought, and ultimately, the way I acted.  Moreover, this spirit would have worked hard to influence my thinking to such a degree that I would have invited some of its friends to accompany it.  This would have constituted the beginning of a spiritual oppression the bitter fruit of which can be, and often is, deep depression and suicidal thoughts. The goal of this spirit was my ultimate destruction.  

Many years later, through reading of the work "Unbound" by Neal Lozano, and sponsoring and attending several of his conferences, I began with some others to offer deliverance prayer for persons carrying oppressive burdens of all kinds.  Some had been abused, some had suffered terrible trauma, some had been betrayed, and some had been active in the occult. In deliverance, one thing marked all of them. They almost always report the experience of a lifting weight upon a word of command. It could be off the chest, the back or some other body part.  Some even report an improvement in sight (a deliverance from an afflicting spirit), and some huff and puff out stuff unseen.

Having experienced earlier in my life the appearance of the demon of thought in its futile attempt to ensnare me, I understand better to some degree what must be occurring in these deliverance or healing events.  In my mind's eye, I can see that purple ethereal spirit (and its allies) once again loosed wandering through dry places -until they can once again find another host on which to latch and begin their work of destruction anew. Alas, it seems that in this age of reason and madness, they may not have to journey very far.

Yet, that spirit of which I write, or one of its many accomplices, also sought at an earlier time to ensnare me. And this, before I knew the Lord, and his protection.  When I think of it, and how close I came to captivity, I sometimes shutter.  Read below, and you will understand. 

Be blessed and believe.

Why Don't You Ask Satan to Help You?  (Circa 1970)

Before my conversion to Christ, I drank to excess (although strictly speaking not an alcoholic), and I looked in all the wrong places for love and acceptance. If you asked me then, I would have told you that I was a good person, and was really looking for a good woman to settle down with to have a family. You see, the truth was, I never really wanted to sin, but I did not have the strength to avoid it, and I was on the pathway to perdition.

So, there I am, about thirty-three years of age, in a bar in Boston. A young single lawyer, fairly successful, and very available. Yet, it seemed to me that no woman really wanted or desired me, and I was painfully lonely. Given my view of things, I hoped that some day in some bar I just might meet the right person. Well, then walks into this bar a very lovely red head who strolls up to the bar, sits and orders a drink. I look intently at her wondering if I should join her and start a discussion to see to where it might lead. Then it happened! I hear: "Why don't you ask Satan to help you?". Yikes! You might ask, was I startled? Was I frightened? No, not at all, and I am not sure why. But, I did know that I had a decision to make, and that if I desired it (that is -her), that there was someone who was willing to help me attain my goal.

Reflecting on this offer I delayed a few moments, but then left the bar saying to myself: "No, I will do it on my own." This prideful thought saved me. Even to this day, I tremble at what might have been, as Satan himself was more than willing to open to me a door to success, sexual pleasure and power.

Knowing what I know now, it would have all led to a terrible oppression and depression -and perhaps even suicide. Someone else was praying for me on that evening, and I avoided my Waterloo. We always need the prayer of others.  For that I am eternally grateful. 

Be blessed and believe.

What Would I Do For You?

(Circa 2000)

My son David is now twenty-three years old (the year is 2011) and his father's delight. He was given his name due to an interior word from the Lord which was confirmed on three occasions before his birth. [i] When David was approaching 4th grade my wife was considering home schooling David as his sister Cassandra was already a home school student and doing quite well.[ii]  However, I was concerned as David was not as pliable as Cassandra and I thought that the home schooling experience might not be the best choice for him. My wife Suzanne, exercising her own very considerable gift of discernment, felt strongly otherwise -which added to my consternation.

While I did not actively bring this concern before the Lord in prayer, I did place this matter on my heart seeking understanding and discernment as to what course of action to take. It was then while driving back home from work in Cambridge that I began to ask the Lord for this discernment when I heard the Lord speak audibly to me: "Peter, what would I do for you?"  Reflecting on this word I then understood that it was God's will that David be home schooled -for that certainly is what the Lord would have provided for me in an identical situation. Once home, I shared this event with David telling him that the Lord himself desired that he begin home schooling. At the time, I also thought that this revelation would help him accept his transition from grammar school (which he seemed to enjoy) to the more private environment of a home school. As a result, David began his home schooling protected from an academic environment becoming increasingly godless and corrupted by the spirit of the age. Now, these many years later I can see the wisdom of the Lord's ways as David prospered greatly in the home schooling environment and to this day remains committed to the reign and rule of Christ in his life.

---

[i] I have told my son that he has been named after David Du Plessis. David was known during his life as "Mr. Pentecost" and was one of the principal founders of the Assembly of God. He was also a participant at Vatican II as an observer.  He spoke prophetically to many in Catholic leadership during Vatican II and urged that a Bible be put into the hands of each Catholic Christian which he believed would result in a great move of God throughout the entire world and the salvation of many.  Sadly, he was not listened to.

[ii] In fact, Cassandra had asked Suzanne to home school her as even as a young girl as she was sensitive to things of the Spirit and was aware that the public school environment would not be helpful for her -that there was a certain "darkness" there which she knew was not of God.

The Power of Praise

A number of years ago, when the Holy Spirit was so powerfully blazing in Toronto (circa 1991), I would on occasion attend conferences there, and, from time to time, just visit there with some friends for a time of prayer and intercession.  One on such occasion (when traveling there with two friends to pray and intercede), we stopped on the way at a large church where a conference was taking place.  There were several hundred in attendance, and at one point in the conference we entered into a time of tremendous praise and worship.  To my great amazement, as we worshiped I had an open vision in which appeared in sharp relief an intricately constructed city with buildings and spires of near eastern design (very Islamic) -having an extremely large bridge leading to its entrance. The entire construction of these edifices was constructed of what appeared to be a black and white material -similar to what extremely compacted salt and pepper might look like. As the praise and worship continued this entire vast and complicated city collapsed and vanished under the power of praise being offered to the Lord. I wondered what it could mean. Today, many years later, I believe I better understand the meaning of this vision. Definitively, no ideology or philosophy inconsistent with the revelation of God's true nature -as revealed through his son Jesus, no matter how intricate it may be, can ever withstand the assault of true praise and worship offered by God's children to the glory of God. In the case at hand, other worshipers were not aware of the loosing of God's power on their behalf to destroy the false and intricate works of the enemy intended to enslave them. Yet, God did, and does, know. In my opinion, never in contemporary history has there been a greater need for times of such prayer and intercession than now. I pray that it may begin -and begin very soon.