At Prayer

(March 23, 2012)

I am praying before the tabernacle early in the morning at St. Mary's church in Rowley, Ma. There is no Mass, but I have keys to access the church as I offer Alpha and other programs from this site. As Mass is only offered on Monday and Tuesday mornings, I had begun to make it a practice to go there early (usually 7:00 am), and to pray for at least one hour's time worshipping and praising the Lord, and quietly listening for his voice.

On this particular Friday morning, amazingly, during prayer I am able to remember with preciseness the names of many of my grammar and high school friends, associates with whom I flew in the Navy so many years ago, ex-clients and associates from my various workplaces. And, as I begin to go down this list of remembrance, I mention each name in the silence of my heart and I say: "Yes, Lord, thank you for him (or her), and bless him". This list of remembrance was quite long and extensive, and while I was praying this way I did not think that what I was doing was anything unusual.  Some of the men brought to mind had not lived the holiest of lives, but I was moved, with great love, to thank the Lord for their existence, and to bless them. This went on for perhaps twenty minutes or so.

At the conclusion of this time, I finished my prayers, knelt before the Lord humbly asking his blessing, and left the church.

It was only the following day that I noticed something quite substantial had altered within me.  Suzanne and I went to a luncheon with some friends during which I was seated across from man with a very difficult personality. He was someone I consciously sought to avoid.  To my amazement, I was filled with great love for him, had wonderful joy in my heart, and had no difficulty listening to his meandering and quite vociferous stories. Love caused me to view him as Jesus viewed him, and I knew that the Lord was blessing and preserving him even as I spoke to him (He is quite ill.). I also knew that the Lord desired that I love him with a father's love, so that he would be open to the love of the Father either now, or at the point of his death, and come to know Jesus.

I learned so much that day, and it has changed my heart toward others. I have come to more fully understand that God loves and blesses, and does not curse his creation. It is men and Satan and his minions that do that. I learned too, that such love is costly, but that it is the only way to reach into the heart of a wounded, fearful and broken man. In the beginning, God used his son to show us the way of love in order that we might come to know  salvation, and how costly such love is. Now, he relies on us to reveal that love, and that love opens to me (us) the path of peace and reconciliation. 

The Demon of Thought (Circa 1984)

At the age of thirty nine I married my beautiful and wonderful friend Suzanne following my conversion to Christ at the age of thirty-six through the ministry of Billy Graham. She has been, and to this day, is a gift of God to me, and her strength has given me direction these many years since. Given my life style before marriage, I had a lot of cleaning up to do, and I began a personal journey of discovery seeking to know the Lord and his ways better by reading Scripture and personal study. It was during one of these times of personal study that an event occurred which was remarkable, and which helped me understand to a significant degree the realm of the demonic. This experience would prove fruitful to me in the years to follow.

It begins like this. I am downstairs with my wife sitting in a couch before our fireplace in Marblehead, MA, reading a small booklet entitled "Grains of Wheat." This booklet encouraged one to walk in the ways of the Lord and to practice generosity and various spiritual disciplines. At my heart level I was responding very affirmatively to this good teaching -when I heard myself think: "I really don't want to do this."  Somehow, this surprised me, and though an amazing grace, I perceived that this thought -while likened to my own, had an alternate source. Responding to this discernment, I quickly turned and looked over my left shoulder where I clearly saw a spirit hovering and looking directly at me. You will ask: "Good grief, were you terrified?" To which I respond: "No, not at all." In fact, I was very much at peace. Secondly, you certainly would now like to ask: "What did the spirit look like?"  Well, this is where the amazing part of this experience may prove difficult for you.  The spirit was smallish (the size of an large watermelon), purple in color (it was a light form -thus ethereal in appearance), having little specific form (almost Casper the Ghost in appearance), with eyes which you could look through into the surrounding room.  It took this spirit at least three of four seconds before it realized that I could actually see it, and then, as a narrow beam of purple streaking supersonic light it passed out of my sight right though the wall of my house as if the wall did not exist.

You should now be asking: "What was that all about?"  Well, Jesus speaks about spirits that roam the face of the earth seeking a place to rest, and this spirit was such a being (Matt. 12:43 and Luke 11.24). And, if I had accepted the voice of that spirit as my own, it would have found an resting place from which it could begin the process of shaping the way I thought, and ultimately, the way I acted.  Moreover, this spirit would have worked hard to influence my thinking to such a degree that I would have invited some of its friends to accompany it.  This would have constituted the beginning of a spiritual oppression the bitter fruit of which can be, and often is, deep depression and suicidal thoughts. The goal of this spirit was my ultimate destruction.  

Many years later, through reading of the work "Unbound" by Neal Lozano, and sponsoring and attending several of his conferences, I began with some others to offer deliverance prayer for persons carrying oppressive burdens of all kinds.  Some had been abused, some had suffered terrible trauma, some had been betrayed, and some had been active in the occult. In deliverance, one thing marked all of them. They almost always report the experience of a lifting weight upon a word of command. It could be off the chest, the back or some other body part.  Some even report an improvement in sight (a deliverance from an afflicting spirit), and some huff and puff out stuff unseen.

Having experienced earlier in my life the appearance of the demon of thought in its futile attempt to ensnare me, I understand better to some degree what must be occurring in these deliverance or healing events.  In my mind's eye, I can see that purple ethereal spirit (and its allies) once again loosed wandering through dry places -until they can once again find another host on which to latch and begin their work of destruction anew. Alas, it seems that in this age of reason and madness, they may not have to journey very far.

Yet, that spirit of which I write, or one of its many accomplices, also sought at an earlier time to ensnare me. And this, before I knew the Lord, and his protection.  When I think of it, and how close I came to captivity, I sometimes shutter.  Read below, and you will understand. 

Be blessed and believe.

Why Don't You Ask Satan to Help You?  (Circa 1970)

Before my conversion to Christ, I drank to excess (although strictly speaking not an alcoholic), and I looked in all the wrong places for love and acceptance. If you asked me then, I would have told you that I was a good person, and was really looking for a good woman to settle down with to have a family. You see, the truth was, I never really wanted to sin, but I did not have the strength to avoid it, and I was on the pathway to perdition.

So, there I am, about thirty-three years of age, in a bar in Boston. A young single lawyer, fairly successful, and very available. Yet, it seemed to me that no woman really wanted or desired me, and I was painfully lonely. Given my view of things, I hoped that some day in some bar I just might meet the right person. Well, then walks into this bar a very lovely red head who strolls up to the bar, sits and orders a drink. I look intently at her wondering if I should join her and start a discussion to see to where it might lead. Then it happened! I hear: "Why don't you ask Satan to help you?". Yikes! You might ask, was I startled? Was I frightened? No, not at all, and I am not sure why. But, I did know that I had a decision to make, and that if I desired it (that is -her), that there was someone who was willing to help me attain my goal.

Reflecting on this offer I delayed a few moments, but then left the bar saying to myself: "No, I will do it on my own." This prideful thought saved me. Even to this day, I tremble at what might have been, as Satan himself was more than willing to open to me a door to success, sexual pleasure and power.

Knowing what I know now, it would have all led to a terrible oppression and depression -and perhaps even suicide. Someone else was praying for me on that evening, and I avoided my Waterloo. We always need the prayer of others.  For that I am eternally grateful. 

Be blessed and believe.

What Would I Do For You?

(Circa 2000)

My son David is now twenty-three years old (the year is 2011) and his father's delight. He was given his name due to an interior word from the Lord which was confirmed on three occasions before his birth. [i] When David was approaching 4th grade my wife was considering home schooling David as his sister Cassandra was already a home school student and doing quite well.[ii]  However, I was concerned as David was not as pliable as Cassandra and I thought that the home schooling experience might not be the best choice for him. My wife Suzanne, exercising her own very considerable gift of discernment, felt strongly otherwise -which added to my consternation.

While I did not actively bring this concern before the Lord in prayer, I did place this matter on my heart seeking understanding and discernment as to what course of action to take. It was then while driving back home from work in Cambridge that I began to ask the Lord for this discernment when I heard the Lord speak audibly to me: "Peter, what would I do for you?"  Reflecting on this word I then understood that it was God's will that David be home schooled -for that certainly is what the Lord would have provided for me in an identical situation. Once home, I shared this event with David telling him that the Lord himself desired that he begin home schooling. At the time, I also thought that this revelation would help him accept his transition from grammar school (which he seemed to enjoy) to the more private environment of a home school. As a result, David began his home schooling protected from an academic environment becoming increasingly godless and corrupted by the spirit of the age. Now, these many years later I can see the wisdom of the Lord's ways as David prospered greatly in the home schooling environment and to this day remains committed to the reign and rule of Christ in his life.

---

[i] I have told my son that he has been named after David Du Plessis. David was known during his life as "Mr. Pentecost" and was one of the principal founders of the Assembly of God. He was also a participant at Vatican II as an observer.  He spoke prophetically to many in Catholic leadership during Vatican II and urged that a Bible be put into the hands of each Catholic Christian which he believed would result in a great move of God throughout the entire world and the salvation of many.  Sadly, he was not listened to.

[ii] In fact, Cassandra had asked Suzanne to home school her as even as a young girl as she was sensitive to things of the Spirit and was aware that the public school environment would not be helpful for her -that there was a certain "darkness" there which she knew was not of God.

The Power of Praise

A number of years ago, when the Holy Spirit was so powerfully blazing in Toronto (circa 1991), I would on occasion attend conferences there, and, from time to time, just visit there with some friends for a time of prayer and intercession.  One on such occasion (when traveling there with two friends to pray and intercede), we stopped on the way at a large church where a conference was taking place.  There were several hundred in attendance, and at one point in the conference we entered into a time of tremendous praise and worship.  To my great amazement, as we worshiped I had an open vision in which appeared in sharp relief an intricately constructed city with buildings and spires of near eastern design (very Islamic) -having an extremely large bridge leading to its entrance. The entire construction of these edifices was constructed of what appeared to be a black and white material -similar to what extremely compacted salt and pepper might look like. As the praise and worship continued this entire vast and complicated city collapsed and vanished under the power of praise being offered to the Lord. I wondered what it could mean. Today, many years later, I believe I better understand the meaning of this vision. Definitively, no ideology or philosophy inconsistent with the revelation of God's true nature -as revealed through his son Jesus, no matter how intricate it may be, can ever withstand the assault of true praise and worship offered by God's children to the glory of God. In the case at hand, other worshipers were not aware of the loosing of God's power on their behalf to destroy the false and intricate works of the enemy intended to enslave them. Yet, God did, and does, know. In my opinion, never in contemporary history has there been a greater need for times of such prayer and intercession than now. I pray that it may begin -and begin very soon.

Where is Hope Found?

(An audible experience)

Your Are Their Only Hope

This is difficult to write.  Years ago while in the shower I was thinking about a couple I knew who were not Christian, but with whom I interacted from time to time when I heard the Lord speak audibly and directly to me the following words: "You are their only hope."  This was a stunning revelation as the Lord knew I was concerned about them, and this included a concern regarding their salvation. More stunning was the phrase "only hope", as I as first found it inconceivable that the Lord could not accomplish their salvation without my help and that others were not praying for them. (As I write this, I am reminded of a statement attributed to Mother Mary during one of her many apparitions: "Many souls go to hell merely because they have no one to pray for them.")

From that point on I began to pray for them and to practice -when I could, friendship evangelization.  I, along with my wife Suzanne modeled for them our Christian ethic by regularly attending church and having meetings of youth and adults at our house for bible studies and worship and other similar events. We were openly Christian and showed our love for the Lord by the way we lived our lives.

Yet, moving forward to the current day (9/11/11 -the ten year anniversary of Ground Zero), I am saddened to report that this couple is now divorced with the wife having left the husband after thirty (30) years of marriage. Reflecting upon this it seems that I did not take this word of knowledge as seriously as I might have. I believe that I may have failed the Lord in that I did not undertake a prayer assault for this couple including a time of fasting and intercession. I did what I could, but I did not go the extra mile.

Lesson Learned:  To him to whom much is given much is expected.  The Christian walk is not a cake-walk and the battle for souls is not bloodless or without labor.  While this couple is now divorced I continue to pray for them for all things are possible with God. But, I must do my part and this includes a willingness to suffer for the sake of the Gospel.  I am almost seventy years old as I write this and I know God's love for me and his heart for the lost. So, I pray, help me Lord, to bring them to your altar.

Infant Baptism - 1963

1963

In February of 1963, while serving as a young Lieutenant JG Naval Aviator with Patrol Squadron 23 (VP-23) at NAS Brunswick, ME, I received a call from my sister Pat asking if I would be willing to be the God Father for her new baby girl Laurie. I quickly agreed, and on a cold Sunday afternoon made the long four hour trek (in my Navy Blues) to Sacred Heart church in Waterbury, CT (which was also my birthplace). Upon arrival it was very dark and dreary, and when entering the church I could not help but reflect upon the years spent earlier at Sacred Heart High School immediately adjacent to the church itself.

Then, after gathering around the baptismal font, the young priest performing the baptism asked me to hold Laurie's tiny hand as he poured the baptismal water and recited the baptismal formula. Somehow, I thought this a strange request, but readily complied. Then as he began to pour the baptismal water over the Laurie's small infant head and to recite the baptismal formula: 'I baptize you in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit' -a powerful charge of electricity entered into the child and traveled through my hand and up my left arm. I immediately knew I had just experienced a manifestation of God's power, but quietly sequestered this experience to the realm of mystery wondering what it all meant.
As I indicated earlier, I sequestered this experience away for many years, and only much later in life when I had a deeper understanding regarding the power and effect of the Sacrament of Baptism, did I share this experience with a young woman named Laurie now a mom in her fourties.

Ah, where does all of this lead? Well, this revelatory experience deeply positioned in my conscious awareness the unqualified conviction that infant baptism -rejected by many Christian traditions as unnecessary, is vital and essential to the spiritual well being of a new born child in ways we can neither perceive or know.

In the intervening years since this event I have on several ocassions attended in Protestant churches the dedication of an infant child wedded to the joyous celebration of the Christian community surrounding the event itself. Yet, at such times, I have also been saddened and troubled aware that the work of Christ on the Cross gained much more for the infant child -a restorative gift through the power of the Holy Spirit. For, in the pouring of the water and in the pronouncement of the words of the baptismal formula original sin and sin itself is remitted and the child is strengthened and opened to new life in God.

It has often been said that no one can take away your personal testimony of what God has done for you and what God has allowed you to experience and know. You know what you know. Yes, one can wait until adult maturity to receive the grace of baptism -but, this is not necessary. The better order of things is to offer to infants baptism and allow the child to be confirmed in the Christian faith of their own volition and at a mature age.

I want to end this narrative with another perspective as well. Given the transformative power of infant baptism, it is not a sacrament that should be offered to families of children unwilling to raise their children in the Christian faith. Too often, business as usual and what I term 'maintenance theology' leads pastors to baptize infants in cases where parents are not committed to Christian community and the rule of life Scripture demands. This can lead to scandal and weakens the church. So too, it this true regarding the Rite of Confirmation where the issuance of this sacrament is often akin to awarding a merit badge, but not a badge of honor and distinction.

PEACE

Getting Back To It

To My Friends:

I am going to begin to use this blog to post some material from my personal diary.  My mother also left behind a few writings which I will also share. These materials will speak to some people and perhaps alert and inform their spirits and help prepare them for the days ahead.

I hope they bless you.

Peter